Untitled

[Untitled]

[writterings]

whenever a young kid joins our staff at work im just like huh. guess im a father now.

[writterings]

these kids will be like “can you drive me home? i don’t have gas money but-” and im already pullin out my keys and am like. sweetheart, you are a child. i am not charging a child gas money.

[writterings]

i literally almost lunged across the counter to throw hands with some old hag who yelled at and insulted one of our 16 y/o girls but instead i threw her sandwich at her and told her to never fucking come back

[writterings]

old dudes will flirt with our young girls too and i’ll be like ay man this is a truck stop, normal customer service rules dont apply here. i can and will call the cops on you.

[writterings]

im the only manager that actively tells them to steal food because these are teenagers and they are HUNGRY

[llyriuml]

You are the only valid manager

[priestessofarkay]

this is kind of hilarious to me because this made it seem like OP was at least mid to late 20s but they’re 19

[Untitled]

talesofgeekdom asked:

Do you have any kind of "best Steam games of 2018" recommendations? The winter sale ends tomorrow, and I'm looking for some extra things to pick up.

prokopetz answered:

Sure thing. Based on your criteria, I’m restricting my consideration to games that a. were released during 2018, and b. are discounted by at least 20% for the Winter Sale. Under those conditions, my top ten:

• Celeste - I’m 100% sure you’ve heard of this one, but for the benefit of those who haven’t, it’s a precision puzzle-platformer that explores themes of mental illness – up to and including depicting a bout of anxiety as a twenty-minute boss fight with Latin choirs and laser beams! Notable both for its face-smashing difficulty curve and for having one of the more robust sets of difficulty and accessibility options for a game of its type; if you want to practice puzzles at 50% speed or just fool around with god mode and infinite air-dashes, it’ll do that for you.
  
  
• CrossCode - A retro action-RPG with parkour elements. Use a game-within-a-game framing device, casting you in the role of a young woman suffering from amnesia following a severe head injury as she plays a full-sensory-immersion MMO – also called CrossCode – as part of her recovery therapy. Gameplay is largely similar to SNES-era RPGs like Secret of Mana or Terranigma, with the addition of some fantastically inventive physics-based puzzles and some of the best environmental pixel art of this or any other generation.
  
  
• Dandara - A mobile-friendly Metroidvania from a newcomer developer out of Brazil. The concept here is that you’re playing as an angel who can only set foot on holy ground; this is reflected in the game mechanics via a swipe-based movement interface that has you leaping from vantage to vantage (gamepads are also supported). The story is allegorical, but the allegory in question is pretty transparent – it’s not exactly a big secret that this is a game about beating up Fascists. The first boss will clue you into that if it wasn’t clear before!
  
  
• Donut County - A puzzler in the mode of Katamari Damacy, you play as a raccoon in control of a portable hole, which you use to steal people’s garbage – for very broad definitions of “garbage”! The more stuff falls into the hole, the larger the hole becomes, allowing you to steal bigger stuff; rinse and repeat. Some areas include some light problem-solving challenges involving tossing items back out of the hole or combining different items together, but a good 80% of the time your objective is simply “make the hole bigger” – as it should be.
  
  
• FAR: Lone Sails - A post-apocalyptic walking simulator with lightweight puzzle-platformer sections. You play as a nameless survivor navigating a landship across a dry ocean bed in search of others. (I would say “other humans”, but it’s not entirely clear whether the player character is  human.) When you start out, you’re just picking up junk to fuel your ride and watching the scenery; more involved gameplay – putting out engine fires, making repairs on the fly, etc. – is gradually introduced over time, adding a pleasant but not overly demanding layer of engineering sim.
  
  
• The Gardens Between - A surrealist set-piece puzzler about time and memory. You play as a couple of kids exploring a series of island “gardens” assembled from childhood memories, using a combination of point-and-click environment manipulation and the ability to selectively rewind time. The gameplay is serviceable, but nothing that’s going to blow your socks off; aesthetics and presentation are where this one really shines.
  
  
• Iconoclasts - An old-school Metroidvania notable for having been developed almost entirely by a single person. You play as a rogue mechanic in a world where a theocratic megacorporation exercises an absolute monopoly over all technology; like Dandara, above, the politics ain’t subtle. As in most auteur-driven games, the lack of editorial oversight shows through in places, but it’s definitely worth the time if you don’t mind a narrative with tendency to dwell. Content warning for some truly creative body horror.
  
  
• Omensight - Here’s a real oddball genre hybrid: an action RPG murder mystery. You play as an avenging angel – something of a theme for this year’s titles – given the power to re-live the world’s last day over and over again in order to figure out who killed God. There are multiple NPCs with their own independent story threads to follow, so you’ll likely have to Groundhog Day your way through the Apocalypse quite a few times in order to put everything together.
  
  
• TSIOQUE - A traditionally animated point-and-click adventure game about a young princess who’s been imprisoned by an evil and very easily annoyed wizard. Gameplay alternates between inventory puzzles and relatively forgiving quicktime events; the moon-logic quotient is pleasingly low for a game of its genre, though there are several parts where you’re liable to get stuck simply because the range of possible actions is so narrow that it may not be clear you can do anything at all.
  
  
• Wizard of Legend - A cross between a roguelike and an arena fighter, where you play as a wizard participating in a single-elimination spellcasting tournament. Each randomly generated dungeon caps off with a one-on-one boss fight with some of the most conspicuously anime wizards I’ve ever set eyes on. Random drops take the form of new spells for your spellbook, of which there are a greate many. The style of the game’s combat system has favourably been compared with Avatar: The Last Airbender, and takes the same basic approach to the elements.

Honorable mentions for 2018 include Heaven Will Be Mine, The King’s Bird and Overclocked; the first didn’t make the main list because it’s not deeply discounted enough (though I’m going to bend my own rules and mention it anyway); the second, because I haven’t finished it yet and thus can’t offer a fully informed recommendation; and the third owing to the fact that there’s no rush to pick it up during the sale – it’s free!

[Untitled]

[dajo42]

if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao

[fallen-angel-with-a-shotgun]

I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior.  I had a real sword with me, too.  I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion.  Some woman walks by, with her little girl.  The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight.  But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.”  You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?”    And the girl looked around and saw me.  I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood.  So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?”  And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating.  Like she thinks I’m going to say no.  So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her.  And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.”  I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.

[maneth985]

[aconnormanning]

This post was good but then it got better

[celticshenanigans]

Okay, this is a slight topic diversion, but in response to the above comment. I’ve volunteered at the CT Ren Faire for years now. For the last 5 or so I’ve worked in the game section, and we have a game similar to the above comment called “Smite the Knight”. I’ve been in the ring before, it’s a ton of fun getting to run around with the kids. The main goal is entertainment. Have a good shtick, keep the crowd engaged, and let the kids have a good time.

In both work and observing, I have learned something about kids. A lot of parents try to get their boys to go fight. Of the young ones that do, they tend to be shy. You get the ones who just swing the boffer swords around with no regard for life, but, mostly, they’re reserved. It’s adorable. I mean, they’re kids.

But the girls. THE GIRLS. Holy crap. I swear, the pinker the dress, the more taffeta and glitter…the more intensity. I remember, the first year I worked there, one girl came in, grabbed the biggest sword she could, and WENT TO TOWN on our knight. Lifted it over head, let out this primal scream and mowed him down. Homeboy is 6′2″, she was FIVE. And once he was in the fetal position (He was fine. It was for show.) on the ground, she stopped, put her foot on his chest, and yelled “I AM A FIERCE PRINCESS!!”. Later in the day when she walked by a couple of us yelled “Ah! It’s the fierce princess!” and she stopped and flexed. It was the best, and I will never forget that girl.

[dramatical-fangirl]

OH MY GOD IT’S BACK YES

[the-ironhobbit]

This has improved since last I reblogged.

[tinierpurplefishes]

I taught karate for like 5 years, and the girls were always, pound for pound, better than the boys. Even the girls who didn’t really want to do it and were only there because their parents made them were better than like 95% of the boys.

[shadesofmauve]

I was playing fiddle at a ren faire, and two little girls were really enjoying our set. After quite some time one of them walked up to me and shyly offered me her star tinsel tiara, because she “didn’t have any money. And this protects you from trolls!” I said “Thanks, that’s really sweet – but what about you? Don’t you need protection from trolls?”

At which point this six-ish-year-old girl whips out her certificate from the axe throwing booth and says “Nah, I’m fine.”

I still have that tinsel tiara. It’s draped over my modem. I figure it’ll protect me from the most trolls that way.

[callmebliss]

I am not in the habit of reblogging a post and slapping an “it got better” on there BUT I SAY GOTDAMN

[Untitled]

[nyabbycat]

“where is this go-OHHHH”

[wonderweird]

SAME LOOK

[Untitled]

[mma-gifs]

Sean O'Connell still has the best weigh-in stare downs

[mma-gifs]

You guys, he’s back!

[harcules]

I didn’t know that I needed to see this until I saw it.

[jaxblade]

To put it simple. You DONT have to act tuff. To be a tough guy.  haha

[nudityandnerdery]

So I looked this guy up. First, not shown in the first gif is the fact that he’s just wearing regular pants:

Also, he’s written a sci-fi novel and has spent time in Africa building a school and orphanage for abused teenage girls. So, good for that guy.

[michuno]

Good guy mma dude.

[Untitled]

[thegingermullet]

Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.

[kbdownie]

I don’t think they’d want to microwave him so hair dryer is really the only remaining option. That’s how I’d do it.

badscienceshenanigans

Do you have a sciency way to accomplish this task?

[badscienceshenanigans]

Well, let’s see. 

To thaw a 1.5 metric ton colossal squid frozen in a block of ice (the only way the fishermen who trawled the thing in could bring it home before it went bad), scientists put it in a big vat of brine just above 0 Celsius/32F. That allowed the fresh water to melt while still keeping the squid as cold as possible. Essential, since for a giant corpse with tentacles, certain parts are bound to thaw days before others and could become quite rotten before the rest comes out of the ice block if you’re not careful. 

HOWEVER Captain America was still alive, which complicates things. On the other hand, even supersoldiers are significantly smaller than this record-setting colossal squid. This helps thaw logistics somewhat.

Much like the squid, Captain America would have to be kept at a consistent temperature throughout his body in order to be thawed successfully. If his extremities were to thaw more than a minute or two before his heart and lungs were thawed and reactivated, the tissue wouldn’t have any oxygen and would quickly die. What a shame to bring back Steve Rogers only to have him be the poster boy for gangrene. Brain tissue becoming metabolically active before the cardiovascular system began functioning would be even more disastrous— possible permanent brain damage. 

And the GH-325 project was born

To keep his temperature as equal as possible across his entire body, something like the squid brine or (more likely) an antifreeze solution would be used. Immerse the Capsicle in brine until the entire unit is within a degree or two of thawing* to begin Phase II.

*Note that due to presence of salts, fats, protein, etc, the freezing point of meat is actually 28-29F. Apologies to non-US readers, sadly I only work with American meat and don’t know the freezing point of corpses/beef in Sane Country Units. That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project. 

At the thawing point, it’s important to consider life support functions. I don’t know how fast human tissue uses up oxygen at refrigerator-range temperatures, but I’m going to assume that the sooner you have oxygen circulating the better. A heart-lung machine would be needed to oxygenate and move the blood around for a while before the heart gets started back up. 

Meanwhile, because Captain America’s last un-frozen moments were spent deep underwater, there may be decompression issues at play. Whatever gas bubbles may have been present in his tissue are currently frozen in place, but when he thaws they can move about and create embolisms —> the bends. Better put him in a hyperbaric chamber just in case. 

Since Captain America regained consciousness in a recovery room rather than during the thaw process, it may be safe to assume that he was sedated and/or placed in a drug-induced coma during thaw. 

So at this point we’ve got a giant bathtub of brine, a heart-lung machine, oxygen canisters, lots of drugs, plus all the necessary monitoring equipment all inside a hyperbaric chamber. After thawing the antifreeze bath could be replaced with gradually warming water or saline solution in order to bring Captain America back up to normal body temperature. So many machines! This is US medicine at its finest.

Forced warm air blowers (hairdryers) are needed after Captain America is fully thawed, organ systems are reactivated, and he is brought back to normal body temperature. At this point it becomes necessary to dry and style Captain America and put him in period-appropriate jammies to sleep it off in a vintage hospital room. If you think hearing the wrong baseball game tipped him off fast, you should see him wake up with bad hair. 

[sounds-simple-right]

[magesmagesmages]

THIS IS THE BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF EVERYTHING.

[theladymonsters]

That being said, Steve Rogers is 100% American meat. Fahrenheit shall be considered the appropriate unit for this project. 

[minim-calibre]

CANNOT STOP LAUGHING.

[noxbat23]

“Much like the squid, Captain America…” - a sentence I never thought I’d read

[prplprincez]

Must tag the girls @katiew1973 @angryschnauzer @feelmyroarrrr @secondsandstars for science

Originally posted by ultrakillblast

[kaykayvoltage53]

And my mom said I couldn’t learn anything from Marvel.

I’ve learned more science from the Marvel fandom then I learned in highschool!

[Untitled]

[hi-def-doritos]

A while back I heard my friend (male) insult another dude by saying, “You look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t go to Wal-Mart to buy his girlfriend a box of tampons” and I still think about that crowning insult sometimes

[manasaysay]

My dad once called another guy “someone who thinks loading the dishwasher once in a while makes him less of a man”

[hi-def-doritos]

I like your dad already

[charming-tothelast]

one time my dad’s boss was giving him shit for always leaving work early so he could get home and help my mom with me when i was a newborn and his boss said “i’ve never changed a diaper in my life” really proudly and my dad responded “i’d be ashamed to ever admit i was that worthless of a husband”

[hi-def-doritos]

oh WOW

[hi-def-doritos]

This is by far my most popular post.

[loki-stone]

I was born three months early, as a result at one point my ears were quite a bit bigger then my head. My Parents had my Dad’s Boss over for dinner & he was looking at me & apprently he said: “Oh, look, you can call her ‘Dumbo’.” And without missing a beat my Dad who was holding me said: “And we can call you ‘fat’.”

[Untitled]

[juleswatsvn]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[juleswatsvn]

Isn’t it disgusting that 23 people just unfollowed me

[clarknokent]

Unfollow me too

[amazighprincex]

this goes double if you call paedophilia a disability. unfollow me twice

[closet-keys]

and if you call pedophilia an “orientation” or in any way compare it to being LGBP+ you can unfollow, delete your blog, and set yourself on fire. 

[cumkittenhowell]

I just lost 50 followers.. bye

[iholtzmann]

clearing out the trash

[stenbroughbilliam]

GO ON AND S M A S H THAT UNFOLLOW BUTTON

[paladin-of-voretron]

BUHBYE U McNASTIES

[bogleech]

I’ve seen this circulating forever and genuinely thought “no way do I have any of them following me” until this week when it turned out I had all these fuckin “MAP” (pedophile) followers sad to find out I’m an “anti” (normal person)

Please leave and also please get guinea worm.

[flerpdederp]

GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY BLOG

[bunchofdoodlesinspace]

I reblogged something similar to this a while ago but again:

if you support pedophilia,

kindly get the fuck off of my blog.

Thanks.

[rivernymphskitten]

I reblog these regularly.

STAY OFF MY BLOOOOOOG

[littlebabiebear]

Shoo fly, don’t bother me👋🏾

[fragilelikeabomb0106]

Pedophilia is not welcome in the LGBTQ+ community nor are MAPs or pedophilia apologizers welcome on any of my blogs. If you support pedophilia, unfollow me. My blog is a safe space but I will not tolerate the sexualization of children.

[ijustwannastarve]

Get out of blog.

[sides-as-incorrect-quotes]

Probably the only non-quotes thing I’ll post, but seriously, pedophilia is sick and twisted so if you are MAP or MAP supporter, gtfo now.

[idk-marvel-newt]

Worse than thanos you filthy thanos-loving assholes unfollow me quicker than Loki’s death bye.

[Untitled]

[tilthat]

TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.

via reddit.com

[toast-potent]

how are they even alive

[kickin-jeans]

eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs

[humandisastersquad]

#I WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are so picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)

[reyroace]

oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because

1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die

2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em

[reyroace]

by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmeBQVQIsTU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0cAx1jLbJk

[curlicuecal]

Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.

[when-in-doubt-sing]

Fucking dumbasses I love them

[fetus-cakes]

so they’re the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?

[fancynewaddress]

im crying omg

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

What’s the bird equivalent

[shephaestion]

WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existence 

i believe there are only 148 of them left ON EARTH (and they all have names!!! like Felix and Guapo and Gumboots its CHARMING) because they evolved with zero natural predators and therefore are FLIGHTLESS but sometimes FORGET THEY ARE FLIGHTLESS and jump out of trees 

their natural instinct when faced with danger is to just…freeze and not move….which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etc 

they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good year 

anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless them 

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

Oh my god

[fieldbears]

It is illegal for me to not include this video 

[dazzle-camouflage]

They don’t ‘forget how to fly’ - Kakapo’s will climb trees and then yes, jump to then glide down. Its not always elegant.

I don’t think people understand how the kakapo literally evolved to suit it’s enviroment and it was super well adapted!!!! Until settlers brought cats and dogs and foxes because NEW ZEALAND HAS NO NATURAL MAMMILIAN PREDATORS because birds like the kakapo and the kiwi only had to worry about like, hawks and eagles. And that’s it. They’re not dumb! They’re not evolutionarily backwards! They are literally dying out because of introduced species killing them that they naturally have no defense against!

If you only had to worry about flying birds, you wouldn’t have to worry about anything finding you by scent; which means you can afford to be slow and conserve energy. Kakapos freeze when they meet a predator because their plumage is super suited to blending in seamlessly to its natural habitat. If your predator uses sight to track prey and if that prey can camouflage then buddy!! That’s a good defense mechanism!!

[brontozaurus]

People often assume that evolution is a process like levelling an RPG character into an unkillable god.

It is not.

Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.

Meet the skimmer.

Skimmers have evolved to fly along the surface of the water with their lower bill partly underwater, grabbing whatever they bump into.

This is a completely ridiculous means of feeding and nothing besides the three skimmer species does it. Dragging their bills through the water creates huge amounts of drag, so they need more energy to fly than usual and specialised skull and neck adaptations to avoid ripping their own heads off. Skimmers also cannot see what their bills touch underwater, they just stick them in the water and hope for the best while trying not to crash into stuff and break their bills (which happens).

Skimmers are exactly as ridiculous as koalas but by god they’re going to do their thing.

[biowareaddicted]

“Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.” is one of the best descriptions of evolution i ever heard. It doesn’t matter if your build is a joke build, it just has to work.  A good part of the fun in studying evolutionary biology is finding out HOW IN HELL do these joke builds actually work. Everyone can look at a wolf and say “what a perfect predator, the terror of every herbivore, i stan”, but finding out why his distant cousin, the maned wolf, decided to walk on stilts,eat berries and practiced what’s basically ant-assisted agricolture? That’s when the fun begins.

[adamsmasher]

evolution is just min-maxing to get through a specific boss battle except that boss battle is life

[Untitled]

[b0yonce]

I love this so fuvking much.

[mattandjones]

BISTCH

[surprisebitch]

She DID #THAT